Breakaway

The end of the year is always a good time to look back the year and make new year's resolutions.
In 2007...I would say, my resolution is to "breakaway." It doesn't mean I would cut my old relationships! Like this song, "Breakaway" popularized by Kelly Clarkson... I want to keep on cherishing my old friends, family, and my hometown, and at the same time, I want to be more adventurous!!

In the past two years, I had been stuck in an English school because I wanted to improve my English. It was very important for me! However, I felt I needed to "breakaway" and go to "another world" this year.
In general, if I (the one) stay at the same place too long...that is not good(unless that is my final destination.) The ESOL(English School) is "my comfortable place." The teachers are always kind. The classmates are in the same stuation as me, so we can understand each other well... But, what if I go to "another world?" I need to challenge something if I want to improve! ♪Get on a fast train, travel on a jet plane, far away. I could breakaway♪　as Kelly Clarkson sings...

In 2006, I started to belong to the Toastmasters, auditing an acting class at Purdue, being a secretary of the West Lafeyette Musical Group, and making a major presentation.
I believe the older I get, the more adventurous I should be. It doesn't mean I should take many risks. Just be eager to challenge something! I think many people (not all) tend to lose their flexibility as they get older. They forget the challenging spirit, and tend to give up something easily because they believe they are not young enough. I don't want to be like that! I want to improve myself, know much sense of value, and meet many kinds of people!! So...try to BREAKAWAY! BREAKAWAY!!

Oh, my specific resolutions in 2007? Getting a 900 score on the TOEIC, attending every meeting of the Toastmasters, starting a correspondence course to be a wedding specialist, and finding a place where I can be involved in REAL wedding occasions!!
Resolutions in 2006? Getting 900 scores of TOEIC, studying French everyday, and reading an English newspaper everyday... WOW!! I haven't fulfilled any resolutions!!! Wait a minute... If I decide, "This is my resolution!", it will never happen!? How ironic this is!!?? or I'm just lazy...

I wish you have a VERY HAPPY new year!!!

White Elephant

Hey, guys! You know, Christmas is just coming around the corner!! My neighbours decorated their houses with Christmas illuminations...(Can you believe it!? The house in the right picture is not a shop, but an ordinary family's house!!) Shops have beautiful Christmas trees and some seasonal stuff!!

Last Monday was the day of the Toastmaster's Christmas party.
We did some games...including a "White elephant game."
White elephant means something you own, but you don't need anymore. The origin is from Siam(The old name of Thailand.) Once upon a time, a king of Siam gave an White Elephant to his follower whom the king dislike as a harassment. A white elephant is beautiful, but we can see we would be in trouble if we can't sell it!!!

I picked Britney Spears CD and some Japanese magazines as my white elephants. Britney Spears is a kind of "hot" topic right now, and there was no Japanese except for me in the Toastmasters. So I thought someone may be interested in those!
As you know, one of the White Elephant's spirits is " The one's trash could be another one's treasure☆"

We got together our White Elephants on the table, and picked one.
I picked the "VIctoria's Secret" bag because I loved the shop. Inside, there was a note saying, "From the VIctoria's Secret." Some things were wraped by a newspaper. I opened a newspaper, then I saw...
1. A bottle of shampoo from a hotel.
2. Hair band
3. Two candles...didn't seem new...
4. A dozen set of hair clips. But she (the presenter) had already used 10 clips. So...two left over.
OK... It is a white elephant. ...Frankly speaking... I thought they were trash!

As everybody opened the one they got, I divided each white elephant into some ranks in my mind. I thought my "Victoria's secret" was in the lowest class. However...it was not lowest.
Highest; A step counter, portable radio, bottle of maple syrup & electric pepper mill... They were new!
Upper-middle; A tea set & mug, my Britney Spears CD & Japanese magazines??
Middle; American 50's music tape, a stuff doll, etc...
Upper-lowest; My "VIctoria's secret" and so on...

The lowest gifts? They were really INTERESTING!!!
1. A box or fish food (already expired)& small aquarium!!
The presenter said, she used to have fish. But it jumped from the aquarium, and died. We knew she didn't need them anymore...but who need expired food fish!?
2. One guy picked the heaviest one, smiling. But when he opened the wrapping, his smile disappeared... It was cooking flour, already opened!!
The presenter said, "My neighbor is going to move to another city. She gave it to me, so I brought it."
OK... If I can do that, my house has full of white elephants!!!
3. However, the lowest & the funniest one was... A PINECONE!! Yes, the brown seed container of the pine tree... A PINECONE!!! It was inside a box, and the box was wrapped by ALUMINUM FOIL!!!
I never forget the face of the girl who opened the box!!!

What I learned the day from the Toastmasters was; Treasure is treasure, and trash is trash!!

The White Elephant game... Would you like to try?

Midnight Madness

The fourth Thursday in November is the Thanksgiving Day in the U.S. ( Sorry, my blog goes back and forth!!) Originally, it was a harvest festival. Now it is a time for big family reunions and big dinners! Most companies, restaurants, and shops are closed because those employees also need to celebrate the day. Towns are sopposed to be very quiet on the Thanksgiving Day.

However, the next day, the fourth Friday in November, is the biggest shopping day in a year!! In contrast to the day before, shops open very early, and give us BIG sales. Quiet towns change completely to be very crowded!!

Usually, my hubby had to work in this season even though it was a natural holiday.
However,he could have day offs this year. So, I suggested to him "Why don't we go to the 'early bird sale' at the outlet mall in Indianapolis on Friday?"
He answered, "I am not an early bird... How about going the 'midnight madness sale?' It will start just after the Thanksgiving Day is over, the midnight of Friday. We can stay up late, go there, get some good stuff at cheaper prices, come back here early, and can sleep well. Right?"
I agreed with him. But, in the reality, "getting some good stuff at cheaper prices" was not so easy...

This year, the Thanksgiving Day was very sunny & warm. So, we could play golf together! We felt hungry, so we tried to find an available restaurant. But almost all restaurants were closed. We found a cheap Chinese restaurant was opened, so we had a supper there. After that, we left Lafayette at 10:00pm.
We arrived at the outlet mall in Indianapolis at 11:30pm,but...we were astonished to see a loooooong line of taillights!! Many, many, many people came there to go to the "midnight madness" sale! So, we had to wait in a looong line to park!!!

I will show you our terrible experience chronologically... It was, literally the "midnight madness..."
11:30pm (Thursday): We arrived at the mall, but we had to wait for a parking space.
12:00am (Friday): The "midnight madness" sale started, but we were stuck in the
loooong waiting line of cars...
1:00am: Finally, we could park! We run to the Coach shop, but there was another
line to ENTER the Coach shop!! We were in the line reluctantly... We had
been waiting outside, it was...cold!
Look at the photo! WE WERE iin the line!! My
hubby whispered to me, "This is so hard...
I would rather work!!"
2:00am: Eventually, we could enter the Coach shop.
2:30am: We got some stuff at Coach, but we also had to
WAIT TO PAY!!! Everywhere in the U.S, so many people did shopping. So, clerks couldn't check the credit cards because the credit cards's companies were so crowded!! They handed swipe the credit cards, so we had to wait much for each customer!! We didn't say anything during waiting... I found that my hubby's eyes were out of focus...
4:00pm: Finally, checked Coach stuff! We didn't plan it, but we decided to go to the CircuitCity(an electronic appliance shop) even though we were REALLY tired... We may as well be hanged for a sheep as for a lamb!!!
5:00pm: After waiting (also) a looong line(Look at the photo!), we could enter the Circuit City just after the early bird sale started. We got a digital camera and some DVDs...but, we ALSO had to wait for checking!! We had no idea... The clerks in the Circuit City took much time to check. They were never in hurry...
7:00am: We finally paid our...prizes.
8:30am: We don't know why we did...but we went to some shops in Lafayette.
9:30am: AL LAST, we came back to our home from the severe shopping war 12 hours later we left home!! You know...the day before, we played gold! We didn't stay up LATE, actually we stayed up ALL NIGHT!!!

Just after we came home being exhausted, I turned on TV. A newscaster said "Today is the BLACK FRIDAY..."
I asked my hubby, "Do you know why is it called the BLACK FRIDAY?"
He said," Because people feel depressed and dark! We paid less, but I am sure this sale took years of our lives!! I AM EXHAUSTED!!" Yeah, could be... The REAL origin of the BLACK FRIDAY? The newscaster said, " Shops are supposed to be in the BLACK because of the big sale's revenue, and the town becomes BLACK because of the crowd. It has both meanings."

Are you a shopping lover? From my experience, I will give you some tips of the Thanksgiving sales.

1. You don't have to go to the Midnight Madness sale unless you want to get something precious is like...an eye-catcher. When we went to the Circuit City, a kind of new game soft were sold quickly. But other stuff... When we left the outlet mall at 4:00am when the early bird sale started, we saw many cars finging parking spaces easily! We figured out WE DIDN'T HAVE TO COME TO THE MIDNIGHT MADNESS SALE!!!

2. Keep warm!! Wear something warm and casual! I went there with a skirt and high-heeled boots, but I had to stand & wait for a loooong time at several lines(sometimes it was outside)... It is in the winter night, it's cold!! Also, you may want to sit down during waiting.

3. Make a list of what you will buy before you go to the sale. I bought some souvenirs to my family at the Coach shop, but I still regret I should have gotten more! They were really cheap!!

...Learning from this experience, I am sure I will be better shopper in the next year!

Oh! Will I go there again even though the sale took years of my life!!??

Christmas Homestay

Have you ever heard the word,"homestay?" It means going abroad and staying in a host family's house, not a hotel or a dormitory. I was interested in doing a homestay when I was a student, but I didn't have enough courage to do it. However, I had a "homestay" experience last week☆

I went to Milwaukee, a city along the Lake Michigan, in Wisconsin. Annette drove four hours from West Lafayette to Miwaukee with me to make a presentation at her sister-in-law, Diane's church. We stayed at Diane's house. Annette is a facilitator and a teacher of the Purdue ESOL that I've been in for three years. Also, she is Liz's mother. Liz is my friend & a frequent reader of my blog! She is very nice & kind lady...like our (the school's students') sister! Every time I come back to the school from long trips, she hugs me with a big smile and says, "Keiko! You'd be surprised to know how I shouted after I woke up in this mornig, 'Yeah! Today is the day when Keiko is coming back!'"
Also, she always notices when I feel depressed or burned out. Then, she doesn't forget to ask me...even if she is very busy..."Keiko, you are not quite yourself today. Is something wrong with you?" Probably, she has no idea how much I thank her!

I have met many of Annette's family before. Diane, her sister-in-law, is also a very nice lady who is always smiling like Annette and her husband, Donald. She lives with her husband, her father-in-law, and two of her sons.
After I stepped into her house, I felt "Wow! I love this house!!" Her interior decorations were fantastic! She had some themes in her house. For example, her kitchen's theme was a "rooster." Therefore, almost everything in the kitchen was related to roosters; Plates, pictures, a clock, mugs, a napkin holder, salt& peper mills, even the wallpaper!! Look at the photo!

Also, she said she loved "shoes." Therefore, many interior decorations with shoes were spread around her house!

In the glass china cupboard, there were beautiful shoes ornaments...

She also had miniture shoes and same shoes pictures! Even her vase was shoe-shaped!!

Additioally, I liked her (a kind of) gallery of family wedding photos. She displayed her mother's, her aunt's, her daughter's ,and her wedding photos. I could see her family's history through this wedding photo gallery! That was a nice idea!!

Whenever I visit houses of friends who have sense of interior, I feel very excited & comfortable. I believe the interior effects the residents' feeling! I don't have the sense, unfortunately... But I should try to improve my house's interior! This may become one of my new year's resolutions. So, it means this will never come true!? We'll see...

After we had a nice supper, we went to Diane's church. That day was the day of the Women's Christmas Tea at her church. Annette's presentation was the main event of it. Her speech title was "Somewhere it's snowing." So, the church was decorated with some things were related to snow☆　Look at the first (of this article) photo!! These ornaments of the Christmas tree looked like snow crystals and icecles. All of snow crystals were handmade laces! They were amazing!!

Annette talked about Christmas song, her job, and her winter memories. I think her conclusion was "In Japan, Korea... It is snowing as well here. There are wars somewhere, but I feel grateful that we can celebrate the Christmas in peace here by the grace of God."

I also feel grateful because Annette's presentation proved how much she loved us(her students!) Thank you for being such a nice supporter, Annette!!

Actually, I was a part of her presentation. I told Annette that I thought the song, "Santa Claus is coming to town" was a Japanese song when I was a child. We sang it in Japanese except for the main verse, "Santa Claus is coming to town♪" I wondered why just this part was in English. The funny thing was our Korean friends thought the same thing! They thought it was a Korean song. Annette found it was really interesting, so she introduced me on the stage and I sang the song in Japanese. The audience was about 150. We sang this song together...you know, they sang only the main line, "Santa Claus is coming to town♪"

After the presentation, we had tea & nice desserts!! That was why this was called "The Christmas Tea." I had visited a few churches in the U.S. Whenever I visit churches, everybody talked to me kindly. I have a Japanese friend who was not a complete Christian, but went to a church regularly to communicate with Americans. I think she was right. Being a church member is one way to be a steady member of the community!!

During the stay, I strongly felt "Oh, I should have had a homestay when I was younger!" If I have had, my English would have become much better!

I was exposed to an "all English" circumstance 24 hours! Yes, I have lived in the U.S. for three years...but I live with my JAPANESE husband & I have many Japanese friends, so my language circumstance is actually, the half is English and the other half is Japanese! If I live in all-English circumstance...I would make mistakes more, but I am sure I can learn more!

In the next mornig, Annette and I had a very funny conversation from my misunderstandig.

Keiko; Are you going to get up, Annette? (We were talking, but stayed in the beds)

Annette; I don't want to...but my BLADDER said I should.

Keiko; (Her BROTHER!?) ...Have I met him?

Annette; ...I don't think so...

Keiko; How do you spell it? (I meant, the spelling. But she thought it as the meaning of "casting magic.")

Annette; ...I don't know how to spell it, but I want to make it empty...

Did you get it!!?? We talked about her relatives, and I had been trying to build her family tree in my mind. So, when she said "bladder," I thought she said "brother!!"

But she just said "I want to go to a restroom" using her sense of humor... Also, she misundersood the verb, "spell," so our conversation got intertwined and hard to understand... After we figured out our misunderstandings, we couldn't stop laughing!

I will never forget this funny conversation!!

There was one of another things I will never forget about this homestay.

Just after we arrived at Diane's house, I met Buren, Diane's father-in-law. I introduced myself to him. "Nice to meet you. I am Keiko. I'm from Japan."

Then he said, "Oh, Japan! I went there 65 years ago to fight!"

...Then, I was reminded... That day was December, 7th. The day of the Japanese attack to the Pearl Harbor, in Hawaii, 65 years ago!! That was coincidence, but I, a Japanese, experienced just one-night-homestay at an American family's house, and it was exactly the day of the "Remember! The Pearl Harbor!" day!!!

Annette and Diane said to me, "Never mind! Nobody says about that except for...his generation." I should say, Buren was smiling when he said so, and he was very kind to me during the stay.

However... I thought I should not forget about that. Now I live in the U.S. in peace surrounded by nice Americans, but there was sad history between us.

Also, there are people like Buren who experienced the war.

If the Christmas is also the day when we would be thankful what we have now as Annette said, I would pray for the peace.

Reusable bag!

The second assignment of the Toastmasters is "organize your speech." I was supposed to make a well-organized presentation, and persuademy audience to take action. Take action!? What kind of action shall I suggest!?? I wondered and wondered, and then...I was reminded of Japanese news. I heard in some areas in Japan, people started not to use plastic bags in grocery stores because their bad effect of the environment. After a few weeks later, I found that The Trader Joe's, which is my favorite organic shop, sold their original REUSABLE bags. Look at the photo! I decided to make a presentation suggesting to use "reusable bags," instead of plastic or paper bags. On November 13th, I got the THIRD AWARD of the best speaker from the Toastmasters because of this presentation☆

I will copy my script of the presentation. I appreciate if you read this script even though it's length!(Don't worry, this is not so long like my wedding presentation script!) But I took much time to research it, ( Basically, I am not an enthusiastic ecologist...) so I bet you will get some interesting information from my script! Let's get started♪

“Paper or plastic!?” “Paper or plastic!?” Even though I had no idea what the clerk meant just after I came to the U.S, now I am asked this question at least once a week. What do you answer usually? “Paper please”? or “ Definitely, plastic!”? Actually, my answer is neither. I say, “No, thanks. I have my RESUSABLE BAG.” A reusable bag is literally a bag you can use many times. So, where are paper bags and plastic bags from and where will they go after you use them? Today, let’s follow their trail from “cradle to grave.”

Does anyone prefer paper? Of course paper bags are from forests. In 1999, 14 million trees were cut to produce the 10 billion paper grocery bags used by Americans. Manufacturing paper bags requires virgin timber because of their greater strength and elasticity. Virgin timber is processed into heat-treated wood chips in a chemical solution. This creates numerous byproducts that pollute waterways and produce air pollution, such as acid rain. The toxicity of the chemicals is long-term and settles into the sediments, working its way through the food chain.

If you are still brave enough to say, “Paper please,” where will the paper bags go after you dump them? They have two possible fates: ending up as waste or being recycled. As waste, paper is bulkier than plastic, taking up more landfill space, and generates 70% more air and 50 times more water pollutants than plastic bags. However, the recycling rate of disposable paper bags is only 10―15 percent. Why? Because it requires facilities and money. Most landfills can’t do this because of the lack of water, light, oxygen, and other important elements that are necessary for the recycling process.

Let’s move on to the other choice. Does anyone usually say, “plastic please?” These single-use, high-density polyethylene bags are manufactured from petroleum, a nonrenewable resource. It’s estimated that nearly 12 million barrels of oil are required to make the 100 million plastic shopping bags Americans use annually. U.S. supermarkets and convenience stores pay $4 billion in a year for those plastic bags.

After you use it? Some plastic can also be recycled, but so far the recycling rate is just 1 to 3 %. Most of them end up as waste. Each year, an estimated 500 billion to 1 trillion plastic bags are consumed worldwide. Billions end up as litter per year. Unbelievably, it takes 20 to 1,000 years for a plastic bag to break down in the environment. Besides littering our urban areas, plastic bags are carried by wind and ocean currents to pristine areas of the earth. And then, hundreds of thousands of sea turtles, whales and other marine mammals die every year from eating discarded plastic bags mistaken for food.

Lately, many countries have been trying to make the environmental dilemma better. Taiwan, Bangladesh, and South Africa now prohibit providing the plastic bags. The Republic of Ireland imposes a 15 cent per bag tax paid by consumers. This tax led to a 90 percent drop in their use of plastic bags and raised approximately $9.6 million for a “green fund” established to benefit the environment. Kenya also imposes tax when they use a plastic bag. Papua, New Guinea may institute doing this. In Germany, they have to pay for paper or plastic bags in stores. Parts of Singapore, Australia, and China are the same. The Japanese government is planning to enact the law about charging plastic & paper bags from the next year. Even here, in the United States, if you go to San Francisco, you have to pay 17 cents per paper or plastic bag!

So, what should we do? There is one Japanese saying: The free one is the most expensive.” Paper and plastic bags are free! So can we use and waste them as much as we want? No way! Now we realize they are not free. Making, discarding, and recycling paper and plastic bags costs much and sometimes could have a bad effect our environment. Many countries are trying to settle this problem! Let’s be brave to say, “No, thanks. I have my reusable bag.” at the checkout stands.

Reference:
・ www.reusablebags.com
・ "The Hidden Costs of Grocery Bags", Lisa Lucio Gough
・Comparison of the Effects on the Environment of Polythylene and Paper Carrier Bags, Federal Office of the Environment, August 1988

What do you think? Are you pursuaded by me to use a reusable bag?
After each presentation, all members of the Toastmasters fill out "evaluation sheets" and hand it to the presenters. As I read those evaluations, some of them said," Excellent! I felt I should use a reusable bag!" I was glad! However, I was exhausted after the presentation. Making a presentation of my unfamiliar topic is so tiring! (Of ourse it's a great learning, though...) I researched a lot, so I think my script is good...but, it was hard to memorize unfamiliar environmental words! I couldn't memorize every number I used, so sometimes I looked a handout I provided to everybody during the presentation. Then, some of them wrote at the evaluation sheets, "Keep paper away from your face! It was not good if the audience can't see your face." I got it...but, I had much information! So, my handout was filled with small words!! I had to have my handout come close to my face!!!
Altogether, I did a good job and got the award, but Iearned it was better to take much more time to be familiar with the topic.

Do you have a question? Oh, you wonder if I use this reusable bag regularly or not?
Frankly speaking...I often forget to BRING my reusable bag...so, I often said,"plastic, please," eventually. I can't meet members of the Toastmasters at grocery stores!!!

Japanese Wedding Forecast?

Congratulations! Finally, you REACH my conclusion! I am showing you my script of the presentation, "Japanese Weddings from Traditional to Modern." If you are reading this article FIRST, I recommend you to go back to the "Japanese Wedding Ceremonies" section. This is the sequence of 6 articles. GOOD LUCK!

In conclusion, I would like to have a quiz. What percentage of Japanese newlyweds have argued while planning their weddings? What do you think? It is 87%. That’s a lot! Isn’t it!? Next, what percentage of them have thought “I am going to quit this marriage!” ? Actually, it is 45% Almost half of them! (Both results are from the Wedding Trend Research in 2005, by a Japanese wedding magazine, Zexy.) I was surprised at the result, and told my husband about that. He wasn't surprised, and said. “Yeah, I know, because I am one of them.” ...I hope he was kidding!

Anyway,Generally, the wedding is a girl’s dream. But for many grooms, it is tiring, expensive, and embarrassing! However, I think a young Japanese guy’s view of weddings has been changing recently. The wedding trend research in 2005 by Zexy says, 25% of the grooms went to beauty salons to have facial massages before their wedding days! Many young Japanese guys enjoy having weddings as their big events!

To have known this tendency, the biggest Japanese wedding planning company, the Take & Give. Needs have suggested, “You are celebrities!” concept. For example, after you registered your marriage at a city hall, a reporter and a cameraman had been waiting for you. They asked you a lot “How did you feel right after registering for the marriage? “or “ When did you decide you were getting married?” and so on, like "You are celebrities!"(The image is the right picture) Also, you can hold a conference to announce your engagement like "You are celebrities!" (The image is the left picture. These two pictures are from the Website of the Take & Give. Needs: http://www.tgn.co.jp/index.html ) Those scenes are recorded, and you and your guests can enjoy those videos during the reception.

I don’t know if this style will be a trend, but it can be because a wedding is not just a girl’s dream anymore, recently, it has also become boy’s dream!!!

...How was this presentation? Thank you for reading the looooong series!! Besides this script, I showed some videos showing modern wedding concepts well♪　What? I may have worked hard to research for this presentation, but you think the audience was also hard to listen to ALL of my talking? Yeah, I think so, but I have found another interesting things, so I wish I had TWO hours to talk about this topic!!!

Japanese Trendy Weddings

This is the FIFTH part of my presentation☆☆☆☆☆

Now, let’s do something fun! I will introduce you to five trendy wedding items. Let’s imagine you are a bride-to-be (or groom-to-be.) And, please vote for the one you want for your wedding! Let’s get started!

Welcome to Keiko's wedding planning office! Congratulations, you will get married! I will show you the Japanese trendiest wedding items. Which one do you like most?
(In advance, OF COURS these items are not my original!! All of items and pictures belong to the Take and Give. Needs, the Japanese Wedding Planning company. All of pictures, except for the picture of the bouquet toss, are from here: http://www.tgn.co.jp/index.html )

First, this is “the time capsule.” This capsule has to be opened ten years later. You can put anything in the capsule, like Polaroid photos of your wedding, letters to yourselves ten years later, and your future children. Or maybe your wedding day’s newspaper. During the ceremony or reception, you lock the capsule, and give the key to your dearest person like your parents, your aunt, or your close friend, someone you will keep company with at least ten years. Ten years later, he or she has to give the key back to to give the key back to you and then, you can finally open the time capsule!

Second is “the dream child!” Because of computer graphic technology, you can predict the faces of your children-to-be and you can show their faces to the guests during the reception! From the top, the right is you, the left is your groom, and below, they are your dream boy and your dream girl! (picture) Don’t worry, you can choose the details of your children’s faces! If you don’t like your husband’s thin eyes, you can put your eyes to their faces!

Third, “The Weight Dolls.” Instead of flowers, now this is the most popular presents to parents. These stuffed dolls’ weights are the same as you and your groom were when you were born. When your parents hold them, they remember how tiny you were and how you have grown up! I bet your mom would cry at this moment! You can choose “the weight mickey”, “the weight pooh”, or "the weight teddy bear!! "

This is the fourth. (The right picture) What do you think this is? This is broccoli. Have you ever heard of a bouquet toss? After the wedding ceremony, a bride tosses a bouquet to her friends who are single. (The bouquet toss's picture is from here: http://www.weddingvillage.jp/tachikawa/happy/vol2.html ) The one who catches the bouquet will get married next. This is a western traditional wedding event. But…it doesn’t have to be a bouquet and a girl! A bouquet and a broccoli sound similar. Don’t you think so? Therefore, you, the groom will toss a “broccoli bouquet” to your friends who are single! The one who catches this will be the next groom, and broccoli is good for his health, too!

This is the last one. (The left) What is it? Yes, this is a panel! This would be you and your groom’s picture and this is life-sized! Your guests can take a picture with your life-sized panel before a wedding reception starts!

So, please decide on just one for your wedding: a time capsule, dream child, weight bear, broccoli toss, or your life-sized panel. Have you decided?

I also asked my audience of my presentation. I think about two-third of them were Americans, and rest of them were from another contries. Which one do you think was the most popular? The answer was... The time capsule! From the most popular one to the least, the time capsule, weght dolls, broccoli toss, life-sized panel, and dream child. I thought the dream child would become the most popular one, but the reality was opposite! If I were a bride-to-be? I would take...let's see...broccoli toss! because it's funny, and cheapest♪

Comparison of a Traditional Japanese Wedding and a Modern Wedding

This is the FOURTH part of my presentation☆☆☆☆
Have you gotton tired?

Now, let’s compare a typical traditional wedding and a typical modern wedding. Here, “Traditional” means approximately from the 1970’s to the early 1990’s. “Modern” means from the late 1990’s to now. I think Japanese popular weddings have changed dramatically between the 20th century and 21st century.

Let’s take a look at a traditional wedding. Most couples celebrated their wedding ceremonies in a Shinto style or a Christian style.
Then, the reception began. The bride and groom entered in the wedding place with their wedding matchmaker （媒酌人）couple.
The matchmaker made a speech.
He also introduced the couple’s background. Where they were born, which schools they graduated from, and so on. On wedding occasions, most grooms were described perfectly; “He graduated with outstanding grades!”even though it was not true because a wedding was a very formal occasion. In many cases, the main guest was one of the groom’s bosses who made a speech.
Then, many couples chose the bride’s boss as the person who made a toast.
Finally guests could start to drink and eat. But the bride and groom exited the banquet room to change their clothes from Japanese Kinomos to a western tuxedo and a wedding gown.
They entered the room again, and cut a huge, tall, fake wedding cake. Some guests started performances, but, the bride had to exit there again to change her dress from a wedding gown to a colored evening dress.
After she finished, the bride and groom did a candle service. Other guests started to do some performances again.
At the finale of the reception, the bride read a letter to her parents to show appreciation. The couple gave bunches of flowers to their parents.
Last, the groom’s father and the groom made closing speeches.
This is a sample of traditional Japanese weddings.

Let’s go through a sample of modern weddings to compare.
Now, most couples celebrate Christian style wedding ceremonies or intimate ceremonies（人前式）. Still, the Christian style is the most popular. However, the numbers of couples who choose an intimate style have increased in the past five years because many couples have started to think it would be weird to have religious weddings if they are not religious. I got married in 2001, and we also chose this style. I guess you may think it’s funny, but an intimate wedding can be held anywhere even a Shinto wedding room or a wedding chapel.

Let’s move on to the reception. The bride and groom enter the room alone. In 2005, couples who had wedding matchmakers were only 3%. Most of them don’t choose a wedding matchmaker system because one of their keywords is not official, but intimate.
The groom himself makes a welcome speech.
Lately, many couples introduce their backgrounds by themselves. The groom introduces the bride and the bride introduces the groom. Therefore, they can talk about themselves honestly. Some couples reveal that a groom failed to pass to the next grade when he was a student, or the bride didn’t like the groom when they met first time. They are trying to show themselves realistically. Another pattern is an emcee interviews the couple. The couple doesn’t know what they will be asked, so guests can enjoy natural responses from the couple.
Then, somebody makes a toast. Nowadays, sometimes the one is decided by a lottery. For example, if you find a seal under your glass, you have to make a toast! Many couples think prepared speeches are too formal. They like to have impromptu, and informal speeches now.
Also, they want to spend much time with their guests instead of changing clothes, so many brides don’t change their clothes or change just once. Instead of a candle service, the couple distributes small gifts like sweets and can talk more with every guest. Some couples take a photo at the each table. Some grooms serve beer by themselves carrying a big beer server like the first picture! Lately, to have their “original” beer label is getting popular, like the left picture. It is also nice to give guests their wedding beer as souvenirs.
After the couple enjoys the time with the guests, they cut a wedding cake. The modern wedding cakes are not fake, nor huge, but delicious, real cakes.
Recently, many newlyweds hesitate to ask guests to perform because they want guests just to be relaxed. Therefore, they try to entertain guests. Some newlyweds play musical instruments together. In my case, my husband and I asked guests what kinds of questions they had, and answered them. For example, what do you call each other when you are alone? Do you have anything you want your partner to correct? something like that. Also, our wedding day was my cousin’s 22nd birthday. So we had a surprise party for her. Some couples ask professionals to entertain guests. They hire some musicians, singers, or magicians.
Then, the interview from an emcee to guests instead of prepared speeches! This is also surprising for guests, but it’s fun! We can also have impromptu presentations by guests.
The reception is almost finished. The bride reads a letter to her parents. However, here is also one difference from the traditional one. Lately, some wedding planners ask the bride’s mothers to write a letter. It is a secret to the couples. When the bride’s mother reads a letter surprisingly, almost all brides start to cry.
After that, a couple presents something to their parents. Bunches of flowers are standard and nice. However.. plus something! Some couples write their original testimonials to parents like those right pictures, but the most popular gift is…I will tell you later.
At the end of the reception, not only the groom and groom’s father, but also the bride’s father and the bride herself give some short thank you speeches to the guests.
(All of pictures are from the Website of the Take and Give Need, the biggest wedding planning company in Japan.
http://www.tgn.co.jp/index.html This Website is marvelous! If you can read Japanese and be interested in, you should check it out!!)

I hope you have figured out how traditional weddings were formal, polite, and conservative, and how modern weddings are original, surprising, and intimate.

Next.. let's do something fun!!

Japanese Modern Weddings

This is the THIRD part of my presentation☆☆☆

I think the keywords of the Japanese modern weddings are original, surprising, and intimate. To make their dream weddings come true, two major basic elements have been changed. One is the wedding place. Hotels and wedding complexes（結婚式場） are still popular because they are convenient. However, if you go there on weekends, there are several brides and grooms celebrating weddings in different rooms, at the same time. If a guest sees other brides, the wedding doesn’t seem special. Therefore, nowadays, the popular wedding places are wedding halls (ハウスウエディング）and restaurants. A wedding hall has one chapel, one big banquet room, a pool, and nice garden. If you applied for a wedding hall, that hall is yours for a day. You and your guests never see other brides and grooms. Also, you can do anything in the hall! Some couples who want to have nice dinners at their favorite restaurants would choose restaurants. Nowadays, many famous restaurants have started wedding businesses.

The other major element is a person who is in charge of weddings. Traditionally, when a couple planned their weddings, they talked with a middle-aged lady who were in charge of “formal occasions” in hotels or wedding complexes. They were experienced and knew formal manners well(婚礼担当者）, but they were not innovative, but like their mothers. However, now the newlyweds need someone like their friends! Have you ever seen the movie, “The Wedding Planner?” (The picture is from http://movies.yahoo.com/movie/1804318786/info ) It was released in 2001, starring Jeniffer Lopes. Think about her. Jeniffer encouraged brides like their friend, and suggested some fresh ideas. In Japan, the wedding planning business was getting popular from a few years before this movie.

Japanese Wedding History

This is the second part of my presentation☆☆

Let’s go through the history of Japanese weddings. Until the end of the 19th century, we didn’t have particular wedding styles. When a couple got married, the families, relatives, and neighbors got together at a bride or groom’s house, the couple announced their marriage, and they had an informal party. There was no formal ceremony, and the party was not organized. I think we can call it an “Intimate style（人前式）” wedding. The interesting thing is an intimate style wedding is now getting popular again in Japan, and many young people think this is the latest style when they compare it to the Shinto, Buddhist, or Christian styles. However, it was a very traditional Japanese wedding style.

The first influential Japanese wedding was the Taisho emperor’s wedding in 1900. At that time, he was a prince. The prince and princess went to a Shinto shrine wearing beautiful Kimonos, and celebrated their wedding. Many newspapers showed the pictures, and many Japanese were fascinated by their style. 　Since the price's wedding, the Shinto style （神前式）wedding became popular.

However, in 1914, World War 1 started. In 1939, World War 2 began and in 1945, Japan lost the war. During the chaotic ages between the wars, people couldn’t afford to have formal weddings.

But, from the 1950’s to the 1970’s, the Japanese economy had been getting very strong. The economic growth rate increased more than10 % annually in this era. The Japanese life had been changing dramatically. In the 1950’s, many hotels started wedding businesses. They built wedding facilities like Shinto wedding rooms, banquet rooms, and advertised gorgeous weddings. Also, a wedding complex （結婚式場）style emerged. A wedding complex is like a small theme park of weddings. The first picture is the appearance of a wedding complex. (The first three pictures are from the Website of the biggest Japanese wedding complex company. http://www.nagasaki-heiankaku.jp/ ) A huge building. A wedding complex has a Japanese Shinto wedding room, a Buddhist wedding room, a chapel, and some banquet facilities that have different capacities. In some local areas, a wedding complex style is still popular because it is convenient! You can choose any style of ceremonies, and you don’t have to move to a reception place.

It might be funny to you that most wedding complex companies have funeral complexes(葬儀場）. Because Japanese thought weddings and funerals were formal occasions, we thought they were in the same category. （冠婚葬祭）　When I worked as a wedding emcee, one day, one guy came close to me and said, “You are very lucky to be “a wedding” emcee.” I asked “why?” and he answered, “Because I am a funeral emcee.” It is true, but nowadays, we think it is weird and an old-fashioned concept. Therefore, we insist we are involved in a “ wedding” business, not “weddings and funerals!”

Let’s go back to the history of Japanese weddings. The era of the 1950’s to 1970’s is called “ the period of high economic growth.”(高度成長期） I think the slogan of this era was “Keep up with the Joneses!” People tried to follow what their rich neighbors or friends were doing because they wanted to look rich or gorgeous. Before that, a wedding reception was informal and guests were families and relatives. However, it became more organized and the bigger a party became, the more guests arrived. Couples started to invite friends, their bosses, and colleagues. Actually, the groom’s boss had a significant role in the wedding in this era. He would be a “wedding matchmaker”(媒酌人） which is a Japanese characteristic of weddings. Originally, a matchmaker is the person who tries to find the right partner for someone else to marry. However, a Japanese wedding matchmaker doesn’t have to be the one who introduced a bride to a groom. He is a symbolic matchmaker. Here are some wedding matchmakers’ pictures. These wedding matchmaker's pictures are from http://kiharaminoru.jp/modules/blog/category/category-1/The first guy is a captain of this reception, so he works at the place, and is not a guest. The second guy is a wedding matchmaker, and he is the groom’s boss. This is a groom. This lady is the matchmaker’s wife. The bride follows the matchmaker’s wife.

Here is (the left one)a picture during the reception. The left one is the matchmaker. He is making a speech. The matchmaker is always beside the groom. She doesn’t appear in this picture, but the matchmaker’s wife is always beside the bride. As you can see, the matchmaker is very important, and outstanding in a wedding reception. Therefore, believe it or not, some business people say your official future would change depending on which boss you ask as your wedding matchmaker. Now, we have figured out Japanese weddings became very official in this era. In the 1960’s, couples started to ask professional emcees to organize their weddings because wedding receptions became ceremonial. It is funny to me that the pioneer of the Japanese emcee was...寿　太郎, whose name is translated "Celebrate Tom!"

From 1970’s to 1980’s, people preferred more gorgeous weddings. This (the right picture) is called a “candle service.” (This picture is from http://www.joho-kyoto.or.jp/~lions/naitou/p4.html ) The bride and groom hold a candle together and light the tables’ candle, and then, they light a big, gorgeous main candle. (The left picture is from http://www.ne.jp/asahi/tsuru/kendo/2003-0720-11.jpg)They cut the wedding cake together as a ceremony. ( This picture is from http://sergeant.main.jp/ ) The cake had to be very tall, and big enough that every guest could see. But those wedding cakes were fake cakes because real cakes couldn’t stand this height. Some couples appeared riding in a gondola from the ceiling, and some of them appeared from the dry ice. I heard an American guest said, “A Japanese wedding is like a Las Vegas show.”

In this era. Especially, they paid much for the brides’ costumes. The typical bride celebrated her wedding ceremony in the Shinto style with a white Kimono(like the first left picture in the row is from http://www.matsui-studio.com/konrei/konrei.htm )and she appeared at her reception wearing a colored Kimono( The middle picture under the row is from http://homepage2.nifty.com/takahiro-masumi/maedori.htm. )But during the reception, she changed her costume twice to wear a wedding gown and a colored evening dress. (The right picture in the row is from http://www.center.nitech.ac.jp/~kenji/Diary/020428-wedding/photo.html The left picture under the row is from http://stevie.ti-da.net/e767771.html)

Actually, this style

of wedding still remains in some areas. I had been to this traditional type of weddings in my hometown, Sapporo before I got married. I usually did some performances like singing a song, or a short play with my friends. However, the brides never saw our performances because they were very busy changing their clothes!

In 1981, one worldwide celebrity got married. She was Princess Diana, in England. 　(Her picture is from http://chiba.cool.ne.jp/koichi76/subj16.htm ) She was very popular in Japan. After her wedding was broadcast, many Japanese girls contacted domestic and international churches to ask if they could celebrate their weddings like Diana’s style. Before one year, in 1980, A Japanese true star in the era, Momoe Yamaguchi, a singer, got married to Tomokazu Miura, a famous actor, as a Christian style. (Her picture is left. It is from http://plaza.rakuten.co.jp/vegatta/ ) Many hotels and wedding complexes started to have “wedding chapels” in this era. This Christian style ceremony has become the most popular one even now instead of the Shinto style.

Let’s review the traditional Japanese weddings until the 1980’s. I would say, the keywords of traditional weddings are formal, polite, and conservative. The couples invited many guests including their bosses, so they had to be polite, and the wedding was considered as a very formal occasion. Also, many people followed the routine wedding styles by having matchmakers, wedding cakes, and candle services. Everybody could expect what would happen next. In addition, most couples took ceremony styles such as the Shinto style or Christian style not because of their religion, but their preferences.

In the 1990’s, the Japanese economy worsened. Before that, the Japanese economy was called “the bubble economy.” Literally, the bubble burst. The estate value decreased, and many business people’s salaries were frozen. People started to wonder why we had to pay so much money for weddings. Therefore, the “simplest wedding” came to be noticed. It means a newlywed registered their marriage, but they didn’t have a special ceremony and reception. However, it is always a girl’s dream to wear a wedding gown. Also, most parents dream of their daughters’ most beautiful event. But, no more old formal styles! From the late 1990’s, young people started to seek their “original” weddings. Now, let’s move on to the Japanese modern weddings! Are you ready? My presentation goes on FOREVER!!!

Japanese Wedding Ceremonies

This is the first part of my presentation☆

Let's take a look at what kinds of wedding ceremonies Japanese have had. There are Shinto（神前式）, Buddhist（仏前式）, Christian, and Intimate（人前式） styles.
First, the Shinto style ceremony. Have you ever heard of Shinto(神道）? Shinto is the ancient religion of Japan. Our ancestors believed there are many gods in the world, not only one. When I was a child, my grandmother told me, “You will be scolded by a nature-god if you spoil the flowers.” Or “You will be punished by a fertility god if you leave your food.” and so on. In Shinto, two gods gave birth to the Japanese islands. If people celebrate a Shinto wedding, they go to a Shinto shrine, and swear their love to the two gods who created Japan.

I will explain what is the Shinto wedding is like briefly. 　A bride wearing a white Kimono(like the picture) and A groom wearing the black Kimono go to a Shinto shire. They ride an ancient-typed taxi pulled by a person(人力車）. The families follow the couple. Just close families participate in a Shinto wedding because a Shinto wedding room is not so big. In the ceremony, a Shinto minister purifies the couple and he announces their marriage to the gods. The bride and groom drink Sake, an alcohol drink from the same cup, instead of kissing. The groom makes a vow. They hold holy branches to swear their eternal love to Japanese gods. At last, the whole family drinks sake to promise they will become one family. This is a Shinto style wedding which was very trendy in the early 20th century. (This picture is from the Website of Okayama Kokusai Hotel: http://www.oih.co.jp/wedding.html )

The Buddhist style is celebrated in a Buddhist temple to announce their marriage to Buddha and the couple’s ancestors because in some temples, they have buried their believers. I think you know well about the Christian style weddings. Last, “the Intimate style wedding” is not related to religion. Couples swear their eternal love, not to a god, but to their families and friends, intimate people.

Now, I think I should explain about the relationship of the Japanese and religion. A wedding is a big event of a personal life, so many people celebrate their weddings based on their religion. So, which religion do the Japanese have? There is no formal record, but one private survey says, “45% of the Japanese believe in Shinto: 49% are Buddhist: 1% are Christian: The other 5% believe in other religions.” However, I am not sure this survey is correct because many Japanese don’t think they are religious, including me. A typical Japanese pattern is like this. When she was a child, she was celebrated at a particular age like one, three, seven, at a Shinto shrine. But she celebrates her wedding as the Christian style. And when she dies, her funeral is organized as the Buddhist style. Many Japanese have a Buddhist altar and a Shinto altar in their home, as well as my parents. I am not a specialist of religion, so please don’t ask deep questions about that. However, in my personal opinion, many Japanese cherish our ancestors’ customs and morals instead of religion. So, the popular Japanese wedding ceremony styles have been changed by trends and life styles in the era, and some celebrities’ weddings .

"Japanese Weddings from Traditional to Modern"

Sorry guys, it's been a long time to see you! On November 27th, I made a one-hour presentation. The title was "Japanese Weddings from Traditional to Modern." Yes, it is my main interest & profession! But, it was not so easy to explain what the Japanese wedding was like to Americans. Therefore, I have buried myself in the research about the Japanese wedding history and the Japanese wedding trends. Eventually, it was...REALLY FUN!! I just forgot the time when I prepared for this presentation!

My audience was the members of the International Friendship Group. It is a part of the Purdue Women's Club. Pudue is the university in our town. There are many ladies who are students, students' wives, professors, professors' wives, in this club. The members of the International Friendship Group have a meeting once a month to learn about many countries' cultures because Purdue has such a diversity of nationalities!
My tutor, Sallly, is a co-chair of this group. She suggested I make a presentation about Japanese weddings there. I was pleased to accept the offer! It was great to have such a wonderful opportunity!

Last month, the meeting place was Mrs. Fran's house which was located beside my hubby's favorite golf course. On Monday morning, we had nice refreshments that some members prepared. The first picture is before the presentation. The ladies were relaxed☆　Even though Americans like to use plastic or papar cups & plates, in this group's meetings, we have never used those. They can provide nice china tea cups & plates for all members!

My audience was almost 60 people. I was afraid of my voice condition. I didn't have a microphone. This was a private house, so, the acoustics were not so good. Also, some members had hearing problems. But I had to convey my message to 60 people for one hour!
However, as a result, my presentation was successful♪　Many people, including ladies who had hearing problems, said my talk was very clear and easy to understand. They also said that my visual aids were great. I prepared handouts, Power Point slides, many photos, and some videos. But, what made me most happy was everybody(maybe) enjoyed my presentation! One lady said, " This is definitely one of my favorite presentations!" Another lady said, "You should do this presentation at other places. I have no idea where...but keep all of your materials!" Another lady said, " Every woman all over the world loves weddings. So, your topic is very suitable for our ladies' club!"

However, of course I know I have some things to improve! After I came back home, I listened to the tape I recorded. My voice was big enough, but it would have been better if I had spoken softer, sometimes. Also, I noticed I had done a weird response. When I asked a question to my audience, one lady said, "Eighty-seven percent?" It was the right answer. But I am not good at numbers, so I responded, "Eighty-seven? Oh, it's close! Actually, the answer is...eighty-seven." I caught what the lady said, but I imagined eighty-three. I don't know why... I didn't notice at the actual presentation, but it was like a short comedy skit! It sounded silly...I am sorry for the lady who gave me the right answer!

My tutor, Sally, said, I spoke fast when I introduced the Japanese trendy wedding items and had a quiz. I know why...because I wanted to present them cheerfully and lively! I didn't provide handouts of these parts because they were an impromptu survey & a quiz. Therefore, if I spoke fast, it was hard for the audience to understand. Especially, I mispronounced some words, like "argue" and "panel," so, people who couldn't read my slides had difficult understanding, as Sally said.

Sally is such a nice lady that she said, "Keiko, don't be discouraged. I tried to offer suggestions, but overall, you did a fantastic job!" Thank you! I wasn't discouraged at all! It is great to have some observations from major presentations! Whenever I make a speech at the Toastmasters' meetings, every member evaluates me. Those also are precious opinions for me!

I will publish my script of this presentation soon. See you soon, I promise!