Weddings Worldwide

Before I started to belong to my current emcee office, I took a lesson to be a bilingual emcee by a pioneer of this field, Ryoko Sumitomo.
Now I've been reading her textbook again because I will take her another lesson for "corporate bilingual emcee." Then, I noticed how interesting this part again, is..."kinds of world marriages & weddings."
For example...

Islamic marriage: means a man becomes responsible to support his wife. Before marriage, they make a contract to decide how much he pays for their wedding & monthly maintenance...not only the amount of money, but also how much jewelry, education he can give her... They make a deal for everything.
Do you think it's unfair for guys? But a man has a right to divorce her if he wants. After he files their divorce, if his wife isn't pregnant three months later, the divorce becomes official even though his wife doesn't want to.

Islamic wedding(In Saudi Arabia): In this culture, it's not respectable for men & women to have a party together. So, they have parties separately. ( I was most stunned to hear that!)
First, a groom and his male guests have dinner, and after that, a bride and her female guests have the guys' left-over. (...WOW...!)

South Africa, Anglican church members: a newlywed couple does a bungee jumping at their wedding... (another wow!)

Jewish: On their wedding day, a bride and a groom fast. In the ceremony, a groom put a wedding band on not a bride's ring finger, but her index finger.

Zulu, African continent: On the wedding day, a groom's family kills a cow, and tells the couple's fortune. (How...? I don't know!) To acknowledge that, a bride puts some money in the cow's stomach, and return it to the groom's family. (...one more, WOW!!)

When I was in America, I heard many interesting wedding customs from international friends.
My Korean friend said, "we send invitations to many guests, but the guests don't reply.
It is OK they decide to come or not come, ON THE DAY!"
I was surprised and asked her,"What about meal? Staff at the wedding place should prepare dishes depending on how many guests there will be!"
She shrugged her shoulders, "They prepare meals for all guests the couple invited. If some people don't come, dump them!"

Another friend from Armenia said, "A wedding is a FIGHTING for us."
"What!? A fighting means, between a bride and groom!??" I asked.
She laughed, "Oh, no! Between guy guests! You know, a wedding is a party. At a party, people drink a lot, when people drink a lot, some people get crazy... A trigger is silly usually. One guy gets mad saying, "You! You had an eye on my girlfriend! You such a bastard!" Then, the guy who was said also becomes upset, "What are you talking about!? I didn't! You ARE a bastard!!" ...Then, they start to fight. When someone starts to fight, we know it's time to close the wedding!"

One newlywed Indian girl said, "I got married to a guy that my parents found for me. In my county, parents are matchmakers."
"Really? Didn't you want to pick a guy you like? Did you think you can love a guy your parents choose?"
She smiled beautifully, "Why not? I believe my parents know about me more than I do. I can love a guy whom my parents believe in."
The Indian girl was a former newscaster. I was surprised even she, such a career woman, believes so.

Marriage & wedding are based on the country's (the tribe's, the race's, the religion's...) culture.
Even though one wedding custom sounds mysterious to me, it has a reason, based on their history.
So, I should respect that.

International wedding is a fusion of different culture.
At the end of the part of the textbook, the bilingual emcee teacher, Ryoko says, "We shouldn't push one culture to an international couple. Communicating with them, we help to make a beautiful combination as they want. During their wedding reception, it is great if we help two family's mingling. We are like a "go-between" for the two culture."

First offer as a bilingual emcee

A few weeks ago, I got the first formal offer as a bilingual emcee.
It was an international wedding ceremony & reception,　between a Japanese girl and an American guy. The wedding place is a big, traditional hotel in Shinjuko.
Yes, my first job as a bilingual emcee...CORRECTION: a TRANSLATOR emcee.

I'm wondering, why are international couples so easygoing?
Most Japanese couples order their wedding emcees AT LEAST a few MONTHS ago.
But when it comes to international couples, they start to think about their emcees a few WEEKS ago!
Another correction: It was not my first offer. I got another offer, but I had a Japanese wedding job already! The offer came just a few weeks ago from the actual wedding day!

The couple, who's going to tie the knot in Shinjuku, have their wedding on October 11.
They tried to find a bilingual emcee, but all of them were booked the day. They hired a Japanese emcee. After that, the event planning company which has a connection with the hotel (co complicated!) heard about me from the president of my emcee office. So, the couple happened to hire me as a "translator" because they have already had a Japanese wedding emcee!

...Do you understand? The route how I got this job offer was so complicated.
When I heard about that, I answered, "OK, I do." But once I told about this offer to my bilingual emcee teacher, my role model, Ryoko, I felt so blue.
Because even she said, "It is much harder than a regular bilingual emcee job. Having two emcees at the same party!? It's not good at all to everybody! Just too much for the audience, complicated for the staff, so awkward for the two emcees, and double-cost for the couple. You should decline the offer, if you can!"
But I couldn't. I said, "Yes" already!

In addition to, we don't have much time. Their wedding day is October 11, but our meeting (the couple & the emcees) is October 3.
Look at this! You can see international couples' easy-goingness again... Just one week!
We, emcees, need to set up the meeting with newlyweds about one months before.
But in case of an international couple(I don't think all of them are so...) one week!!
I asked the president (of my emcee office) to ask the event planning office about the Japanese emcee's phone number & e-mail address.
Yes, it's complicated, but the Japanese emcee belongs to another emcee office, so we need to ask how to contact her to the event planning office, but the event planning office may not know the emcee office, so the planning office might be asking the hotel wedding office....
Well, I'll stop talking about the details.

Anyway, what I want to say is, I don't have necessary information.
I just know their wedding day, the groom's first name & nationality (American,) and the bride's family name and the nationality(Japanese.)
But I should manage under these circumstances.

Recently, I'm writing the script for their ceremony (Intimate style! 人前式）& reception.
But we haven't had a meeting yet, so, my scripts are based on another international couple.
I can memorize the script & perform emceeing under scripts, but on actual wedding sites, things are not so easy.

My catch is "translation" thing... I've never done it as a professional.
Therefore, I'm practicing that.
From the scripts I was given at the bilingual emcee lectures, or some videos from YouTube, I translate wedding speeches from Japanese to English, and English to Japanese.

I'm nervous, but somewhat, I'm excited.
I finally can work on international wedding occasion!!
Also, I realized I'm lucky I can ask for help to other "professionals."
My bilingual emcee teacher, Ryoko, is very supportive. She always replied to my questions with very, very detailed answers. (Even though I took her class just one day! She is so nice!!)
My American tutor, Sally, will give me lessons to check my scripts.
My American co-worker, Seth, was excited to hear I got the first job offer, and pleased to have a "rehearsal" of my meeting with the couple, pretending a groom.

As long as I prepare enough & work hard for the job, I will be all right.
I'm not experienced, so, each job occasion is very precious for me. I need to learn a lot on the sites, with professionalism, flexibilities, and concentration.
...The most importantly, I must enjoy them!

By the way, I got another "first" job offer as a "corporate" bilingual emcee.
That was an awarding ceremony of electronic companies. Most judges were from America.
The place was Makuhari Messe, and many media crews were supposed to come. That sounded a very big event!!
...But I couldn't get the offer. It was on Thursday! The day I should go to school to teach!!
I forgot, most corporate events are held on weekdays.
Anyway, just work on for the following wedding job!!

Japanese Wedding Trends (just in my case)

During two years since I left the wedding industry, there have been many wedding trends emerging.

Before I restarted my business, I read "Zexy," which is a Japanese wedding magazine, to preview wedding trends.

Candle relay, balloon service, unity candle, time capsule candle, surprise by groom's transformation to a server(discreetly,) opening & ending DVDs with the couple's "avatars..."
I have learned a lot from the magazine and...the Internet!
However, I didn't imagine how wedding actual sites advance much more than the Web-sites.

When I had a meeting with a couple, I asked the bride.
"So, would you want to read a letter to your parents before the ending of the reception?"
A typical ending of Japanese wedding is giving the couple's parents bunches of flowers as signs of appreciation.
Before that, it's common that a bride reads a letter to thank her parents for growing her up.
That sort of shows "she is making a line between single and married. She is not anymore just her parent's daughter. She is a "bride" of the groom's family. See, she is saying good-bye to her family!"
I know, many couple believe marriage is between individuals, not families now.
However, reading a thankful letter by a bride to a bride's family is a beautiful tradition.

So, I asked the bride, "Would you want to read a letter to your parents?"
She said "yes," but I heard the groom said, "Yes, I would." at the same time.
I asked him again. "Would you...read a letter?"
"Certainly, I would." He answered, filling with tears in his eyes...
"Oh... I mean, Wow! So nice of you two! Your parents must be pleased about it!"
I made an instant smile immediately.
That's one of important jobs as a wedding emcee!

After the meeting, I asked my wedding mentor, a very nice lady who has been a wedding emcee and was a TV reporter.
She said, "Ah, it's getting common! The world is getting gender-free, as well as wedding field. Why doesn't a groom read a thank-you letter to his own parents if a bride does!"
...OK, OK, I knew stuff crews at my English school are kind of gender-free, ( I mean, guys are so sympathetic like girls, and girls work for a long time like Japanese typical male salaried workers...) but I didn't know gender-free wave is cutting into wedding scenes, too.

The other day, another bride called me and suggested,
"I'm wondering what if you read a letter from the groom's ex-girlfriend?"
"Ex...who?" I thought I mistook who.
But she exactly said, "EX-girlfriend! That's a kind of surprise. You, emcee, say, "I got a letter from his ex-girlfriend. She knows well about him. Let me read her letter here."
You start to read it...then, gradually, guests get to know that is from me, a bride, not from his ex! Don't you think it's funny? I read the episode on the Internet. They said they got a big laugh. Don't you want to get a laugh at our party?"

"Well.. you might want to get a laugh, but don't you want to get your dignity?"
I wanted to ask her back, but surely, I didn't.
Instead of asking, I was advising.
"Well, it might be funny...among friends. But...think about it. At your reception, half of your guests are relatives. If the groom's relative think it's a bad joke... I want to make what you dream of come true on your wedding, but I don't want to make your impression nasty in front of his relatives. (Actually, I don't want to make MY impression nasty in front of guests! Who says "it's from his ex!?" That would be me!!) Wedding party is a kind of live stage. Depends on the couple and the audience, the funny surprise might turn to be faulty."
The bride understood, and thank God, she stopped suggesting the deadly surprise.

After the call, I talked about it to my wedding mentor again.
She said, "that's always a catch! Recently, many brides and grooms want to try funny(faulty) surprises or events what they read on the Website. It's a kind of trend. But we are like...you know, personal trainers. We need to get them back on the right truck, showing understanding what they want to do. Because if we make everything what they dream of come true, the reception would not be coming true! We stay on their Never land, but we are like the shepherds who advise," You NEVER want that!"

...I see. I knew "surprises!" have been trendy in Japanese weddings... but, I would say, "No more surprise to an emcee!" like the "ex-girlfriend" announcement surprise.

Afterthought of the Afterthought

...Continuing from the "afterthought" of my first wedding emcee job since two years...

I told you as if my last wedding emceeing was not satisfactory to me, but, I was actually relieved late night of the wedding day.
Because I got a text message from the bride.
She said, "I had been very picky about my wedding. But during the reception, all of my concern was clear, & everything went so perfectly. I think it's because of you!! Thank you very much for being our wedding emcee!"

While I was listening to my performance I recorded yesterday, I noticed I HAD BEEN very picky about some stammer parts & small mistakes before. They were not big deals at all!
So, overall...it was good emceeing.

However, I should improve my emcee skills, language skills, & business skills whatever the the clients say to me.
Wedding is a happy & private (for most people) occasion, so most couples are very generous to wedding emcees. But, we shouldn't rely on their merciful feedback.

...However, being said "thank you" from the happiest couple always makes me feel EXTREMELY happy.
During two years, I was reluctant to work on the intense occasion ( I mean, wedding,) because of my busy teaching job & medical treatment. But now? Things have been settling down, so...
I'm ready to go!!

Afterthought of Wedding Throw

...Long time no see, friends!
I started to work an wedding emcee again from this month, and I had some offers as a bilingual emcee...a lot of things for me to do!! Time has just flied...

Yesterday, I did wedding emceeing at a big wedding hall in Yokohama.
It had been two years since I did it last time!
But I wasn't nervous at all. I get used to emceeing at Toastmasters, so I knew I was going to be OK. Yes, I was good...but, not more than just "good."

After the wedding, the feedback from me was exact the same thing I felt just after the big Toastmasters' anniversary party.
I got to move party plans smoothly, I didn't make any big mistakes at all, my announce skills were OK...not bad. BUT, also, not perfect!

The bride was the type who worried about every detail.
She and I contacted by e-mails & text messages often, I called her sometimes.
I was getting feel like she was my original friend. I heard about her guests a lot, so I thought I could perform very smooth emceeing.

However...why did I stammer sometimes?
I know it sometimes happen to Japanese emcees, (When I speak in English, I hardly ever stammer...why???) but...I don't want to do!

I tried to be a professional after the job. I tried to give me reasonable feedback. I mean, not only bad points, but also I thought of good things what I did.

What I was good at;
-I cared about throwing a smooth party, not only about emcee job.
I talked with guests a lot, and I found some problems & I told them to the manager.
So, we could stop the problem-to-be just before it became the big deal.
-The couple didn't hire a professional photographer, so I tried to take photos a lot.
When some guests went close to the couple, I spoke to them, "shall I take a photo with the bride and groom?" I think they would appreciate it.
-The floor manager took looong time to explain something to the newlywed, it would have had awkward pauses many times if I hadn't have many resources about the couple. However, I had enough information about them, so emceeing was very smooth.

What I was not good at...were incurred by what I felt I was good.
-I was sure I was good at memorizing a script. So, I didn't confirm the script during the party, and explored around the party venue to make sure every guest is OK.
It might be thoughtful, but it's not my original job. I didn't go blank while I was emceeing, but why I stammered sometimes was because I was not be very very careful.
-The same thing! I said some things mistakenly. I noticed soon & corrected everything soon.
Just there were many things to say & to do at the party, so I just...made some small mistakes.
-Sorry to say... I don't like to have many congratulatory telegrams!! They are supposed to be very nice, but opening them & putting them away again to original envelops is emcee's job.
The couple last night got 25 telegrams. Every telegram has an original number, so I should put them on the original places.It was so confusing & I took a lot of time!!

Yesterday, I noticed.
"What I was good at" were what I have made by trying to experience presentations, speeches, or emceeing for a long time.
"What I was not good at" will be clear if I work hard & if I experience the job more.

So, I made a notebook.
That was called "Emcee Afterthought (feedback, I might have to say...) Notebook."
I took a note, mostly, what I was not satisfied by my performance.
Also, now I'm listening to my emceeing last night.
I started this custom since I joined the Toastmasters.
Emceeing evaluation should be very objective, so I need to listen to how I performed.

My "progress" might be those efforts.
Before I went to America, I didn't want to listen to my emceeing after the party...just I didn't want to listen to my voice. Neither taking a note, I...just didn't.

PR, making a rapport among clients, concentration, flexibility, experience, feedback, self-improvement...
There are any aspects I feel I need as a professional. However, as long as I get job offers, I'm grateful I can challenge those.
...Will I get enough job offers?? That's a good questions!!