Comparison of a Traditional Japanese Wedding and a Modern Wedding

This is the FOURTH part of my presentation☆☆☆☆
Have you gotton tired?

Now, let’s compare a typical traditional wedding and a typical modern wedding. Here, “Traditional” means approximately from the 1970’s to the early 1990’s. “Modern” means from the late 1990’s to now. I think Japanese popular weddings have changed dramatically between the 20th century and 21st century.

Let’s take a look at a traditional wedding. Most couples celebrated their wedding ceremonies in a Shinto style or a Christian style.
Then, the reception began. The bride and groom entered in the wedding place with their wedding matchmaker （媒酌人）couple.
The matchmaker made a speech.
He also introduced the couple’s background. Where they were born, which schools they graduated from, and so on. On wedding occasions, most grooms were described perfectly; “He graduated with outstanding grades!”even though it was not true because a wedding was a very formal occasion. In many cases, the main guest was one of the groom’s bosses who made a speech.
Then, many couples chose the bride’s boss as the person who made a toast.
Finally guests could start to drink and eat. But the bride and groom exited the banquet room to change their clothes from Japanese Kinomos to a western tuxedo and a wedding gown.
They entered the room again, and cut a huge, tall, fake wedding cake. Some guests started performances, but, the bride had to exit there again to change her dress from a wedding gown to a colored evening dress.
After she finished, the bride and groom did a candle service. Other guests started to do some performances again.
At the finale of the reception, the bride read a letter to her parents to show appreciation. The couple gave bunches of flowers to their parents.
Last, the groom’s father and the groom made closing speeches.
This is a sample of traditional Japanese weddings.

Let’s go through a sample of modern weddings to compare.
Now, most couples celebrate Christian style wedding ceremonies or intimate ceremonies（人前式）. Still, the Christian style is the most popular. However, the numbers of couples who choose an intimate style have increased in the past five years because many couples have started to think it would be weird to have religious weddings if they are not religious. I got married in 2001, and we also chose this style. I guess you may think it’s funny, but an intimate wedding can be held anywhere even a Shinto wedding room or a wedding chapel.

Let’s move on to the reception. The bride and groom enter the room alone. In 2005, couples who had wedding matchmakers were only 3%. Most of them don’t choose a wedding matchmaker system because one of their keywords is not official, but intimate.
The groom himself makes a welcome speech.
Lately, many couples introduce their backgrounds by themselves. The groom introduces the bride and the bride introduces the groom. Therefore, they can talk about themselves honestly. Some couples reveal that a groom failed to pass to the next grade when he was a student, or the bride didn’t like the groom when they met first time. They are trying to show themselves realistically. Another pattern is an emcee interviews the couple. The couple doesn’t know what they will be asked, so guests can enjoy natural responses from the couple.
Then, somebody makes a toast. Nowadays, sometimes the one is decided by a lottery. For example, if you find a seal under your glass, you have to make a toast! Many couples think prepared speeches are too formal. They like to have impromptu, and informal speeches now.
Also, they want to spend much time with their guests instead of changing clothes, so many brides don’t change their clothes or change just once. Instead of a candle service, the couple distributes small gifts like sweets and can talk more with every guest. Some couples take a photo at the each table. Some grooms serve beer by themselves carrying a big beer server like the first picture! Lately, to have their “original” beer label is getting popular, like the left picture. It is also nice to give guests their wedding beer as souvenirs.
After the couple enjoys the time with the guests, they cut a wedding cake. The modern wedding cakes are not fake, nor huge, but delicious, real cakes.
Recently, many newlyweds hesitate to ask guests to perform because they want guests just to be relaxed. Therefore, they try to entertain guests. Some newlyweds play musical instruments together. In my case, my husband and I asked guests what kinds of questions they had, and answered them. For example, what do you call each other when you are alone? Do you have anything you want your partner to correct? something like that. Also, our wedding day was my cousin’s 22nd birthday. So we had a surprise party for her. Some couples ask professionals to entertain guests. They hire some musicians, singers, or magicians.
Then, the interview from an emcee to guests instead of prepared speeches! This is also surprising for guests, but it’s fun! We can also have impromptu presentations by guests.
The reception is almost finished. The bride reads a letter to her parents. However, here is also one difference from the traditional one. Lately, some wedding planners ask the bride’s mothers to write a letter. It is a secret to the couples. When the bride’s mother reads a letter surprisingly, almost all brides start to cry.
After that, a couple presents something to their parents. Bunches of flowers are standard and nice. However.. plus something! Some couples write their original testimonials to parents like those right pictures, but the most popular gift is…I will tell you later.
At the end of the reception, not only the groom and groom’s father, but also the bride’s father and the bride herself give some short thank you speeches to the guests.
(All of pictures are from the Website of the Take and Give Need, the biggest wedding planning company in Japan.
http://www.tgn.co.jp/index.html This Website is marvelous! If you can read Japanese and be interested in, you should check it out!!)

I hope you have figured out how traditional weddings were formal, polite, and conservative, and how modern weddings are original, surprising, and intimate.

Next.. let's do something fun!!