Milestone

June 5 was the day of my Toastmasters' club's anniversary party.
The venue was Tokyo Midtown in Roppongi, and participants were almost 70. And the emcee was...me.

I had buried myself in the preparation since I published the last article.
Just before the night, the speakers' number and kinds of events had been increased.
I had asked Sally, my former America tutor, to have a Skype session, and she checked all of my script the week before. And I memorized all of it, but I needed to rewrite it & practice the new one again.

I had an emcee partner. Let's say, her name is Alice(she is Japanese, it's a fake name!)
She was too easy-going, so I was a bit worried if she was capable. But I thought it was OK because a Toastmasters' club is basically, a hobby circle. Alice is not a professional emcee!
But I decided to work in a professional manner. I was confident to cover up Alice in case, and I was so ready for the party.
I knew I would be filled with fulfillment after the party even though I was very busy... but after the actual party, I was filled with...not FULFILLMENT, but FRUSTRATION, and I was even FURIOUS.

Why? Because the committee team didn't work as a team!
A party should have a floor manager, a planner, floor staff members, and an emcee.
A floor manager is supposed to manage the time allotment during the party, and direct an emcee when she should proceed events.
A planner, (I know every committee member was a planner for the party, but, I mean, "during the party") was supposed to confirm every details for the following events.
Floor staff members should manage every details for the venue and guests' convenience and of course, serve dishes and drinks.

However, there were no floor manager ( a kind of director) and a planner at the party.
I thought the director would be our president , so I asked her if I could start the next event all the time, but I think she was busy with entertaining guests as a president. The venue was large, so it took time to find her every time. I was desperate because we were behind the time schedule very much. We had too many events & so many speakers. But I couldn't scream her name nor cut into her conversation between guests during the nice party.

Because there was no planner, I needed to take care of every small details. Even I had to follow up receptionists and ushers, cause they didn't know what to do!

Even from the start, that was chaos to me. Floor stuff members at the venue weren't accustomed to parties like those at a hotel or restaurant (the venue was basically, so exclusive to a prestigious mansion residents in Roppongi,) so even they didn't know where they should set a microphone up, and they were reluctant to move tables. Because they were not reliable, one club founder talked to ME "Turn the music's volume down!" or "Clear the projector up!" while I was speaking on a mike.

As an emcee, except for actual speaking, I had jobs;
- Confirm speakers' names and details
- Tell speakers when they would appear, where they would perform
I wanted to do my job precisely, but sometimes I didn't have time to do because of...these jobs I mentioned above. (Don't worry, this blog IS EXCLUSIVE to my very close friends...so, no committee members can read my complaints.)
I needed to introduce all former presidents, so I intended to talk to all presidents & confirm their names and presidency terms, but I couldn't. I felt sorry when one former president interrupted me, "that's not true!" when I announced her presidency term.


Oh, I forgot to tell you about my partner, Alice. How was she? I told you she was not a professional emcee, but I didn't imagine she was so unprofessional.
I wrote all of her script and told her about our program, but she seemed not to read the script well. She started to jump to the other event once, so I took a microphone back from her and mentioned what would happen the next. She asked me all the time, "what I should say next?" or "How should I pronounce the word?"
...I was very, very exhausted.

Would you understand why I was furious after the party?
I can hear you, saying, "Yes, you told me ENOUGH!!"
Yes, I might become vindictive sometimes...

Actually, I spoke out what I felt JUST A LITTLE to committee members, after the party.
Our president said, "Hooray, Keiko! Our party was SO SUCCESSFUL!!"
I interrupted her, "Successful!? No! It has so many problems!! I nearly thought I wanted to quit the club!! All members became GUESTS at the party even though we had so many guests from outside. Be a staff!!"
...I am the newest & youngest committee member, so I couldn't ask something to other members during the party...but my efforts & desperation had accumulated like volcanic ashes, and after the party, "Keiko volcano" just explored.

For honor of the Toastmasters' members, (is it too late?? but, seriously!!) all of them are so nice people. So, they turned pale and apologized to me. I knew I can't blame them. They didn't mean to bully me. They just didn't know what to do at such a big party!

But my frustration hadn't disappeared for awhile. Why am I so angry? I kept asking to myself. There was a problem inside me. I used to work as a professional wedding emcee, so I was surrounded by professional staff members. But at the party, there were no professional party staff, so I felt the big gap.
Why am I working hard as a volunteer? Toastmasters' club is very good extracurricular activity to improve in public speaking, but it IS an EXTRA curricular activity. Why isn't it my job? It WAS my job!! My ultimate dream is "being an English teacher on weekdays, and a bilingual emcee on weekends." For some reasons, I quit my former emcee agency and I started to get a medical treatment...
But isn't it an excuse not to follow my dream? I am not under medical treatment 24/7.
Some people are following their dreams even under severier situations. I may be able to do the same!

Since two days ago, I started to search how I could be a bilingual emcee.
I have been contacting some people in the field. ( I want to explain about that more, but I need to go to school to teach now!)

I had a very negative feeling after the party, but I've been trying to replace it to a very positive future. The party last Saturday will be a milestone of my life? or just a disappointing experience? That depends on me, and I want to "attract" my dream.
Most importantly, according to participants' reputations & the party's success, I realized I'm capable (I don't know yet, but please let me say so! I can't make my dream come true unless I believe in myself!) of professional emceeing.

...AND, also importantly, because of the Toastmasters' committee members' kindness, we've still been a great team even after my tongue became VERY sharp.
My tongue might kill someone, someday? ...Don't worry, "someone" is definitely not you!!