Relation between Loneliness and Friends

When I was a teenager, I was so shy that I was not good at making friends.
I guess I was not a very unusual girl. I was just a common girl. My first impression was always good(I heard so;), so it was OK to meet new people & be acquainted...But, I myself, felt awkward when I hung up with my friends.

When I was in my late teens, I noticed friends were not people who covered my loneliness.
"Depending" or "leaning on" relationship helps nothing. Basically, we're living alone. But if we are compatible, or have a common thing, we can help each other. Not only help, but we can refresh & relax each other, or sometimes improve each other.
When I noticed the healthy friendship was a mutual relationship of independent people (Not a one-way depending or something,) I became able to make true friends.

Also, I learned (mostly, from classical literature or psychology books) "loneliness" means nothing to me. I had (still, but I'm talking about when I was a late-teenager!)a wonderful family and I didn't have a major unhappiness. "Why do I have to feel lonely? Instead of this useless lonely feeling, I should have a positive happy feeling!"
...Since then, one of my philosophies has been "Don't worry about I don't have to worry."

As I get older, I noticed what I want from my friends.
Some people hang out with their friends often, but I've not been that type.
There were eras when I met same friends three times a week or call often & talk for a long time...
But, after we got married, we started to share a lot of time with our families.

Then, recently, another question came to my mind.
"Family members share our lives. But friends...I can chose the distance between them. How much distance should I keep?"
Because the loneliness of my teenage days hasn't disappeared completely in the inner myself.
I have no idea what triggers to me...but sometimes, suddenly, I really miss my friends or feel like I should make new friends.
I know I should do care for my friends more if I need to be cared from them...but how selfish!
Usually, I just think about myself, but sometimes I really want my friends to think about...me??
I don't know...

Probably, one song describes my "ideal distance" between my friends.
It's sang by Japanese R&B artists, DOUBLE and AI. The title is exactly "friends," as I remembered... They sing, "We can't meet often, but I often think about you. When I meet you, you relax & inspire me. When I don't meet you, your spirit makes me drive. We don't need each other all the time, but when I need you, you help me. When you need me, I'm with you."
I want to be strong enough to light my friends. To be so, what I can do now is to open myself, widen my horizon, and try to understand the world & people...probably.