Make or Break

EIKEN association has the test three times per year.
The morning of the third time last year, in October, I had some expectation.
My score was just three point short from the passing score the last time(second one, in June,) so I thought I may pass if I did my best.

However, in the morning, I had a quarrel with my hubby.
The reason was not serious at all! He cared "a" house cleaning thing, but I didn't care about it very much. Maybe I could have forgotten about it if it had been a usual day, but it was a special day.

I tried to concentrate on the test, but I couldn't.
I couldn't stop thinking about the quarrel, not the test. EIKEN's questions are very complicated for me, so if I couldn't concentrate on...it was obvious I would be a "loser" again.

I don't think it was all my hubby's fault. We live together, so if he cares for something, I should have cared for it, too. I rarely told my hubby about my dreams or goals usually, that's why the "accident" happened. He didn't know what kind of test I was going to take! If he had known it was my special day, he would have respected me.

What I felt really upset was I couldn't do my best.
After I got home, I didn't talk, just cried a lot. My hubby felt really sorry about it.

Now, this coming Sunday is the first EIKEN in 2010! Getting the first grade is my biggest resolution this year. I have TONS of TONS of things I want to write here, but I temporarily stop publishing the blog, and use my free time for preparing for the test.

If I make it this time (I don't have confidence, though..,) I am VERY happy!
...And you know, if I break it this time...it's apparently, all my fault!!!