Drive

Today was the TOEIC day.
I used to take the TOEIC very seriously. Because I took it once a year to measure my annual English improvement when I was in the U.S, it was like my grade of the year.
If the "grade" was not good, I felt..."what I have done in the year? Nothing!"
I didn't work, so I was like a student who needed to get a good grade.

However, now... I have a stable job. What I am required first is taking care of my students well, providing good classes, getting the "results" as business perspectives, and being a team-player. Having a full score of the TOEIC and the first grade of the EIKEN is desirable, but not necessary.
Also, since I started to work, I would rather to be "relaxed" than "work hard" for tests in my free time...
Additionally, since I came back to Japan, I worked hard the day before the tests coincidentally, so I was tired when I took them!

I know, all of them are excuses for the fact "I lost my DRIVE for some of my resolutions."
Today, I was so sleepy that I lost my consciousness ( I mean, "felt asleep") during the listening test!

After I got home, my hubby said, "Hey! I have some errands in the neighborhood. I'll go by car. Will you come with me?"
I said, "No...thank you."
He was still saying," Hey! You have rarely driven a car since you came back to Japan! In the case when you have to drive, why don't you practice today?"
I said reluctantly, "Well... I'm tired. I want to grab a bite and be relaxed at home!"

Apparently, I've also lost my "DRIVE for DRIVE."
What can I do??